Describe yourself.: People say I look like Tom Hanks, I tell them they look like something I shit out last night.
Do you think Cancer is funny?:Yes, especially prostate cancer.
Why are you so hopeless?: Because Friends was cancelled, or the ever present threat of a car bomb exploding me into a thousand pieces. It's a toss up between the two.
It's Friday night, what the hell are you doing?:Cleaning shit off the floor of the prestigous Wellsville Country Club
Name an aspiration you have.: To own my own back alley cardboard box in Time square. Thats a bitchin piece of real estate
Who would you rather kill, a helpless baby, or yourself?: A helpless baby because they taste great with lettuce and tomato on wheat bread
Make me laugh.: Whats the difference between a dead baby and an apple?........ I don't cum on an apple before I eat it
Why should I say yes to you?: You should say yes to me because I will spam your ass with pro republican e-mails if you don't, and everybody who is not a moron can agree that is worse than death itself.